Christmas in anecdotes


Ohhh, that’s very retro… isn’t it? – Mother to me, on seeing my hair cut

What do you mean we’re not going to Midnight Mass?! We cannot ‘not go’ – we go every single year! – My brother Bridey to my mother and I on Christmas eve about 10pm

Gosh, you’ve put on a lot of weight – Father to me,  over Skype

I can’t find my Christmas present from you? – Bridey, to me, on Christmas day; I hadn’t bought him one but did later get him an Amazon voucher…

Philip being released from hospital is NOT ‘breaking news’! – Mother

Don’t you think you’ve had enough to drink?! – Bridey to me, on Christmas Day

Would you go upstairs and read him a story? He’s asked specifically for you – Aunt to me on her 4 year old grandson who was being put to bed

We’ve had power outages most of the dayFather who resides in the developing world, via Skype

Next question: what were the names of the Three Wise Men?One of about 30 quiz questions asked during our Christmas Day Family Quiz (orchestrated by my cousin)

Because she’s an alcoholic – My mother to me, on Boxing Day, when explaining why her partner’s ex-wife – who was there on Boxing Day – drinks tonic straight from the can with no alcohol in it; in fairness to this woman, she’s been dry for something like 8 years!

You look happy and comfortable in yourself – My mother’s partner’s daughter, who is about 5-6 years older than me, after I told her, for want of much else to say, about what my father had said to me over Skype about having gained weight. I thought this was a seriously odd comment from her

It’s a film. And a book! And… what does that mean?! Nine of us playing charades…

We’re going to CRASH!! – Bridey in the car as we drove home after Boxing Day; I had stalled getting onto the motorway…

I think this is probably the last time I shall come home for Christmas… Me to my mother/brother in aforementioned car journey home

Well you shouldn’t have accepted on my behalf! I am not going to spend Boxing Day evening playing parlour games with people I hardly know! [at the headmaster’s house, old friends of my brother, the father is headmaster of one of the largest schools in the county] – Me in the car